Last Friday, after a week that included feeling yucky and severe abdominal pain that came in waves and took my breath away, I finally went to the Dr. I don't really have a "primary care" physician, so I saw an internal medicine doctor that my midwife had referred me to. She was super nice. She drew blood & did an exam...but I really didn't get any answers as to what it was. She did however, rule some things out for me. We found out it wasn't kidney stones!
P-man and I had fun with my computer's Photo Booth today. :)
We then bought a used vehicle on Craigslist Friday afternoon. It only has 72,000 miles!! This is huge for us. :-)
Then, Saturday struck. We arrived home MUCH later than expected from our errands because our new (to us) vehicle broke down and we were stranded at a gas station. For about 3 hours. I have to say, I never liked this particular gas station before and now I certainly am not fond of it. Finally the tow truck came, and the kids and I took a $32 cab ride home because the littles were not allowed to ride in the cab of the tow truck. But, we made it...praise God! And supper was in the crockpot, welcoming us back home.
After we ate, my abdomen just seemed so...swollen! (And no, it's not because I ate too much salad earlier in the day, like P-man suggested.) I finally called the on-call nurse line to inquire about what I should do. After the crazy week I'd had with nausea, abdominal pains, etc...I was getting worried! The Dr. that I saw the previous day was actually on call Saturday night, so she called me right back. After checking my labs, she told me that everything was normal with my blood-draw, except my pancreas was a bit elevated. AND...I was pregnant!! I was shocked. We had tried to get pregnant the previous month...but this month, it would just be too soon to know.
She told me to get to the E.R. So...we did. The ultrasound showed 2 cysts. One was a hemorragic ovarian cyst and the other they weren't sure about. The hemorragic cyst is where the severe pain had come from!! And the "fullness" in my abdomen could also be attributed to the cyst, according to the E.R. Dr. I was relieved to hear that they didn't see a problem with the pregnancy. Everything appeared normal. It was a wonderfully surprising ending to a very long day.
Monday the 27th, I went back to the Dr. to get my HCG (pregnancy hormone) level checked. The midwife mentioned that it might be twins...so maybe that's why we were seeing something this early on. At about 5 pm, Monday night...my midwife called. She said my level was 415. Since it had been 761 in the E.R. on Saturday, she told me it was a miscarriage. I was sad to realize we were losing this baby.
There were SO many emotions over this past feel week. I still feel drained. Saturday night, when we thought things were "fine" with this pregnancy, I told Joel that I already loved this baby! I thought for sure that when we were on our way to the E.R. that we had already lost it, either because of a tubal, or SOME thing being horribly wrong (because of how awful I had felt.)
My midwife agreed that it made sense that this baby would have been from the previous month (although I took two pregnancy tests...and they were both negative.) She said that when I got what seemed to be my normal period...it could have actually been the start of a miscarriage. Even though this baby did not get to live long inside my womb, I miss it. And it is loved.
I return to my midwife's office on Thursday to make sure my HCG has returned to normal. Through the midst of all of this...the Lord has reminded me that : Even when I feel like my life hates me...HE loves me. I'm so thankful. Even though my attitude has stunk royally at times this past week...I'm greatful for my Father's faithfulness. Through His grace, we made it. And here's to a NEW weekend. So far it's off to a good start. My Sister and her family came over for supper tonight. AND Joel's got his vehicle running now...hooray!
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
P-man and I had fun with my computer's Photo Booth today. :)
{Special thanks to Mr. P for helping me with this little photo shoot!}
• I loved the snowman that Joel and P built. It's a pretty big one! Yesterday I got a photo of P-man and H (who I babysit occasionally) next to the giant snowman. All was good and fine with our frosty friend until this morning when I woke up and *gasp* our snowman had been decapitated!!! I think it looked like it was too clean of a break to be a natural occurring head loss...but I guess I can't be certain that someone came by and whacked his head clean off. Maybe it was the wind?? Hmm...Anyhow, my Mom came over today and she attached the head again so we'll see how long it lasts, ha!!
1. So Long, Insecurity Oh my. It was like Beth Moore was writing directly to me at times. I think as women, (or humans?) it is in our nature to struggle with security. This weakness is identified and some reasons for insecurity are explored and explained. I love the encouragement she uses from the Word to show that insecurity can be overcome!! It doesn't have to be a way of life. Praise God!
3. Crazy Love I thought this was a gripping book that was much needed for me in my Christian walk. The things I do (or choose not to do) need to stem from my love for the Creator and NOT a fear of what others will think of me. A heart that is totally sold out for Christ will be a heart on fire! I want to show others Christ's love through my actions in everyday life. What a challenge!
4. She's Gonna Blow You never think when you are holding your newborn, sleeping baby that one day you might be angry with your child. Your innocent baby will turn into a 4 year old that knows exactly which buttons to push to get you hopping mad! I so appreciate Julie Ann Barnhill's willingness to be REAL and tell her story. Not every Mom is the June Cleaver type. Some Mom's (including me!) struggle with anger towards their children. The way Julie wrote made this a very enjoyable book. I love how she used tons of Scripture to encourage and show that real change can happen. Her life story is evidence of that fact. This book is life-changing and one that I hope to re-read every year!
5. A Perfect Day Joel told me about writer Richard Paul Evans, and this was the first book I read of his. I thought this novel read like a modern day, "It's a Wonderful Life!" I loved it. I also liked the fact that I got to learn more about what a writer goes through when they are able to get a book published and go on book tour. Very fun story!
